I am extremely stubborn. There! I put it out there for the world to see. But I imagine most people who deal with me on a consistent basis already knew that.

For as long as I can remember, I have had to learn most things the hard way. One of these days I will get my diploma from “The School of Hard Knocks.” I’m pretty sure they have them out there somewhere. Hopefully I’m not alone; after all, isn’t the saying “misery loves company?” Don’t be surprised to see me walking around in a hoodie proudly proclaiming my alma mater in the near future. What can I say…I’m a work in progress.

God obviously knows this about me. After all, He created me. I can’t thank Him enough for the countless times He has rescued me from me. You’ll have to trust me when I tell you that the number is way up there! But once in a while with me being my stubborn self, God really has to “smack me upside the head” to get my attention. I will come down with an illness that literally knocks me off my feet. I will have a health scare like a TIA (transient ischemic attack, also known as mini stroke). I will be diagnosed with an incurable neurological disorder, Parkinson’s Disease. I have tried to recognize these as wake up calls, but being stubborn, I keep thinking I am in control. Most recently, I have discovered a plethora of food allergies that are affecting my overall well-being. OK, Lord, you’ve got my attention! This may just be the one where I will finally get it…but don’t hold your breath!

God has gifted me with a desire to serve others. Nothing makes me happier than doing something for someone else. These smacks upside the head tend to happen when I am neglecting my own health and well-being, as I have a hard time saying “no” to others. I always try to put others first. I’m not saying that to pat myself on the back. The stubborn me, who by the way tends to take a lot of things literally, just wants to do good, as God commands all of us through His Word.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6: 9-10 (NIV)

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Hebrews 13:16 (NIV)

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

“Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.” 1 Timothy 6:18 (NIV)

God also commands us to take care of ourselves, too. After all, caring for others is impossible without first caring for ourselves.

“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.” 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 (NIV)

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

Please don’t misunderstand. In no way do I blame God for what ails me. He has given us free will. My choices and behaviors are my own, and I know that completely and I take ownership. Today, I humbly confess to you that while I can read and share His commands, following through on them is difficult for me. I’m not sure why this is the case, God knows, but He hasn’t shared that with me…yet. While I do not blame Him or anyone but myself for my problems, I do believe that God uses our difficulties for His Good. He uses them for molding, shaping and refining us into the people He created us to be. Looking back and reflecting, so much good has come from the lowest and darkest points in my life. God has definitely been in control! He is now and will always be in control.

I’m not sure when I will finally graduate; only God knows my timeline. Perhaps you are a member of my alma mater, this “school of hard knocks.” Despite the saying that “misery loves company,” I honestly hope that I am a class of one. Not because I want to be alone, but because I don’t want anyone else to learn things the hard way. Rather, I want you to trust God and give all your cares to Him. After all, He is Supreme, and His Son, Jesus, is King.

Perhaps the saying should be something like “company detests misery.” May God grant you good health, joy and His Peace, which transcends all understanding.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the person reading this. Thank you for our unique gifts and talents. Thank you for loving us through our faults and for never giving up on us. Thank you for using our poor choices as a refining tool. Please keep us mindful that our bodies are a gift from You, and we must take care of ourselves so that we can tend to others. Help us to remember that, not only are You our sole provider, You are our soul provider. We love you so much, and we thank You for the sacrifice of Your one and only Son, Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins. It’s in His most precious name that we pray, Amen.